Thursday, March 6, 2008

Rashid Totally Spiked My Drink

(or: How I learned to stop hatin' and love the jet lag)

It's FREAKIN 3AM. Unfortunately, me, my glass of Sangiovese, and Katie talking to her mom on the phone in the background say "oh come on Matt, it's totally 6pm. You don't have any meetings tomorrow - stay up for the sunrise!". When people say jet-set, I completely understand the picture now - it's a totally confused body clock 24/7.

Let me back up.

All the best literature says "hey, fake it till you make it" - in show business, modelling, transexuality, transmogrification, and yes - jet lag. We, dear readers, have taken the bullet - "what happens when you totally succumb to the urge to sleep, and don't try to adjust to a new time zone? " Oh, our scientific study will tell you!

Here's what happens - you get tired at about 11pm the first night. You think, "swell, this will be a breeze!". You wake up at 2am. Not so breezy. You stare at the ceiling, then you take a bath and get some work out of the way, knowing most people you know are enjoying dinner in Clarendon (you suck, by the way). At about 8am, you get really sleepy. But also really hungry, only for dinner. This is academically known as the "oh no, I can't get tired noooooww....." period. This continues until you return home from work at 7pm. You nap. Then, you wake up at 9pm, and are all sorts of ticked off. "Who woke me up? You?! Oh, I'm totally going to punch you. Oh, sorry Pleo!" Then you hit up the all important Red Baron pizza at 12 midnight, and you are completely, utterly confused. The oven you have in your apartment only goes up to 250 degrees. What?! Then you realize - jet lag applies to metric too. That's right, the sucker's in Celsius. Right about the time you realize that, your tasty pizzas are burning a jet black. So, dear "the kings foot is 12 inches" person - let this be a lesson. Order delivery, not Digiorno.

As I mentally prepare in my mind for a workday that starts in 3 hours, I leave you with a quote ("not a sermon, just a thought!"), along with my apology for a rambling post:

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